I apologize for my conspicuous absence during the month of July. I’m sure you all noticed and became clinically depressed as a result but it’s okay, I’m back. I went to Maui, where my sister’s boyfriend mooned me underwater during a snorkeling trip and a cow had the audacity to pee in front of me.
|To protect the identity of my sister’s boyfriend,
Nick Novak, I have blocked out his face.
I trust these pictures will make up for my absence. Let this entry serve as my much anticipated return to the front lines of hard-hitting blog topics such as how much I hate hipsters and other variations of d-bags.